Recently things have been "looking" better...in some sense i'm still in the same spot...perspective has changed. pray i continue to look to the Hills...(not the tv show).

1 Cor 15:10, "But by the grace of God i am what i am..."

"The main thing about Christianity is not the work we do, but the relationship we maintain."
-The Big Oz (Oswald Chambers)

Stepper...

Hey all!

Well, it's tuesday morning. I'm doing well today so far. well...i shouldn't say that...i mean i feel ok internally. that shouldn't determine how i AM...Emotions can't move me so much. I'm too emotional of creature for that.

But I'm not down this morning...that's cool. One issue i've dealt with is cruising through life. I MUST drive (but only as much as God will have me to). Gotta get somethings done accomplished. I also need to learn to take care of the little picture FOR the big picture. I try to get the big picture taken care of and i paralyze myself...it is neither wise, nor is it fun. I have too much energy to sit on it...Gotta get moving. In my determination. In my relationships. In my decisions. I think God is waiting for me...well...I'm waiting for him. I think I've moved on every opportunity he put out in front of me. anyway...Gotta get moving. Gotta pray. Gotta pray. Gotta pray.

MUSIC TIME~!!! \(^_^)/

So i just bought a lot of music on iTunes...it really makes me feel better...haha!

So since i was scattered in choosing the albums from which i bought music...i'll briefly discuss the ONE complete album i purchased:

Anthony Evans
The Bridge

So this is the third AE album. I really like the music and his approach from his first two albums. This one however, is distinctly different than the previous two releases. It is composed mostly of rearranged popular CCM praise songs. This dude can sing! Not a major runner or riffer, but just has a nice voice and likes to belt! (I'm a baritone, so i can't really handle what he does myself...haha! My hat's off to you sir.) One main reason I like The Bridge because it reminds me of my college days and I'm getting some new OLD music. Refreshing renditions, but not over the top. They are still respectful of the original melody, while holding an interesting quality to be sung in churches with different cultural makeups in the US. ;-)

Top picks: Everlasting God (wanted more "Oh's" though), In Christ Alone
*Also...I like the cd jacket cover...color combo and all...it's great! I want that shirt!

yo all! i don't know who reads this...but eh! it's ok.
i'm sitting in my room...trying to figure out my life. i'm not a jumper...i think i'm a stepper...but steppers seem to react too slow. So what to do?! どうしようかな〜！...hmmm....

i know i feel very disconnected. from what?! everyone pretty much. lonely...alone...i dont know which one this time. i'm at a stage that it seems most of my friends have passed already...OR they have someone with whom they can decide. i don't like it....i mean...i'm happy for all of them...i'm not happy right now. is my problem committing? maybe! to relationships, events, staying in one place, etc...i'm not sure...but thanks to Mark i got some good music on itunes today...music helps me so much. phyiscal activity helps me too...gotta get on that.

help me my friends.

So....i forgot about the music updates i was supposed to do! Sorry!

Kevin Levar & One Sound - "Let's Come Together"
currently 7 out of 10 stars

So refreshing! praise & worship-y, yet it has some heart penetrating songs (i.e. A Heart that Forgives). A very honest yet God centered album all together. It's been good for me since March.
My jams are Hidding Place and the title track Let's Come Together. Songs that makes one ponder are A Heart that Forgives and What a Love (simple yet what a question). Go get it.

back from Hawaii and LA

such a fun trip! reunions are the best!!! nothing like'em!!! that can preach!
i'm hot...write more later.

i'm sleepy...but it's hot...

i wish i hadn't erased my blog from before...but what can you do?!

I'm up because i went to sleep at 10:30pm...and it gets soooooo hot in my room.

soooo recently, i've noticed how socially needed i am. more so than i thought before. is it because that's the way I am? or is it because I fail to allow Jesus to hold me in that area? or is it because i've let too many people in too quickly, and when my expectations or hopes aren't met...pain?!

why have i been so sensitive lately?!

Am I on a cycle...hahaha! So many great things have been happening to/for me! I'm not in a complaining mood. I still just feel lonely...not extremely lonely, but abnormally lonely i believe. Lord help me! AND...i'm always tired!!! why?! that's no fun! ha! Maybe i DO need to go see a couselor (besides the Holy Spirit)...

I know that recently, I've REALLY been missin Japan...i mean like the past 2 or 3 days.

Hawaii will be good...i hope! i'll try my hardest to have fun!

pray for brenden & milo!!!

hey...didn't have internet for a while

hey...
sorry for ALL THE MANY PEOPLE who read this!

umm....nothing has really happened except that i've been substituting more!

ok...peace all!

from devotions...

"If you only know what He has done for you, you have not a big enough God..."

wow! Has God Done Anything for You?! yes, but He's more than that. I was talking with a friend who lost her job. she was understandably upset. She said she learned that God was big, but that He didn't have to prove it to her. He isn't required to prove himself faithful...even though He is! He is who He is with or without proof or belief in Him.

Are we His children who aren't in need of a "belief permit" from others to accept ourselves as His children? Is our identity solidified? Are we His and is He ours?

shout out to "s"-ter, MBC, CE!

I think i should start doing CD reviews, and song and artists spotlights! I will. Sounds fun!

Lord...I think i'm at the end...I've done all I know to do (i think)...I need an open door!...a door that will direct me to the future! or next step!

Birds

I just saw a Robin fighting to get a worm...it was cool. i'm sure he got tired during the battle, but he knew he needed to eat. So "i'm tired" didn't come into the equation!
I will fight!!! (that's for you FREE)

A prayer...

"Since mine eyes have looked on Jesus,
I've lost sight of all beside,
So enchained my spirit's vision,
Gazing on the Crucified."

I'm not sure where this is originally from, but it was in MUFHH devotional this morning...not yet there, but it's my prayer!

new rule to live by!

Even if you're in the car alone, and it's cold outside...don't fart!

Am i in the way?!

"If you become a necessity to a soul, you are out of God's order. As a worker, your great responsibility is to be a friend of the Bridegroom." Oswald Chambers

How much do I love to be needed and wanted...has it gone too far?

(sigh)

I miss Will Landry so much!

in Sint Maarten

I'm here with the Wheaton College gospel choir and they are reminding me that I used to have so much fun in my life....what happened?!?!

me today

Development..."working out salvation"...not easy nor is it fun. However, I Corinthians 1:8-9, "He will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, IS FAITHFUL." I'm preaching this to myself. I see I need sooo much work and help. Right now in this frame of mind, I believe the greatest thing I need to learn is trusting/relying on/living by the Spirit. How is that done exactly? How do get a softer heart? How are my ears unclogged from the foolishness of the past to hear the directions and receive the Love for now? I believe it' s my yeilding & His work (the act of yeilding is work however). I need my family. We have to step it up for the Cause of Christ, for the Kingdom, for the King.

Philippians 1:6, "being confident of this, that HE began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."

Not from an external morality, but from a POWER that's within!!!!
-Alistair Begg

Not for the cause of humanity, but for the Love of Jesus!

Feb. 22

Hey all (really just Christina...hahaha)

I went to see CP play the bass today.  His pastor is funny.

Good day today...getting life back. Getting joy back. re-entry is not easy. there's a lot of junk in me. i wanted to get it out so I could be a good example for people. in essence, so i could look good enough for people to want to follow...but that's wrong. I want it cleaned up so I can follow.  I want to live fully, joyfully, unattached, unhindered, unshaken, unwavering...I want to live full throttle (good name for a group or conference/movement, huh?...don't steal it!)  I've lived relying on my emotions too much.  didn't think i was like that.  but i can see it now.  But freedom is what I long for.  I've for too long allowed people to give me their definition of myself and how i live.  Christians...so it didn't seem so bad.  but it was sneaky.  it seemed holy to want to serve and allow people to speak into my life.  actually in and of itself it isn't bad...BUT...if anyone's voice is more recognizable and/or has more weight than MY SAVIOUR'S (british spelling...for you James)...something is wrong.  that relationship is perverted.  it has been my fault.  I've given too many people God's measure.  But freedom is my portion, Galatians 5:1!  

From Mikachu...I LOVE her pictures so funny and creative!

WE WON!!!

tonight we had a game...DOUBLE OVER-TIME!!! we played pretty well together. i'm proud of the team. they work so hard. actually it's a different team now than 1 1/2 months ago. One of our players had 31 points. i was proud of them.

But my greatest joy tonight came when one of the JV players asked me for advice about some relationship issues he was having at school. I'M SUCH A SAP! but that was so wonderful to me. i guess i really like helping people and connecting. i'm so not a loner. i thought that i had a little of that...but that was only disney world because my roommates were crazy! ha!

goodnight children!

Trying to get it together...

I'm looking for a job...(kinda)...i'm looking for a car...(kinda).

oh...to be in japan again :-/

i don't like...

i don't like being angry. I don't like being upset. I like peace. I want peace. What are we without it? What is life without it? Lord, grant peace to those who's hearts are ever troubled, always uneasy, never at rest. Grant rest to those hearts. Give them a warm place to abide. A safe place, a comforting place. A place where you can be seen, felt and known.

Isaiah 54

2009

it's here. and my room still isn't finished. THANKS IKEA.
trying to get life together. trying to get organized. trying to focus. trying to have fun and fulfillment in life.
once i get internet in my room...i'll better be able to keep up with this.
peace.